And the award for SpewMonkey 2006 goes to....

Carddead for this entire SNG. Played exactly one hand prior to this. A shortstack moved in on the button for 950 or so and I called with AK. A5 flopped two fives and half my stack was blown. I was looking for any reasonable hand to put my last two BB's in with on the bubble and then this happened.

***** Hand History for Game (?) *****
NL Texas Hold'em $109 Buy-in Trny:29229891 Level:5 Blinds(200/400) - Monday, September 25, 23:09:06 ET 2006
Table Speed #1290788 (Real Money)
Seat 9 is the button
Total number of players : 4
Seat 6: MegaB1te ( $6740 )
Seat 9: Hero ( $880 )
Seat 10: zac777 ( $9040 )
Seat 4: tlbcaptain ( $3340 )
Trny:29229891 Level:5
Blinds(200/400)

Holecards:
Dealt to Hero [ ]
ALL-IN MegaB1te
FOLD Hero Yay me, I have a hand I can actualy fold. I am probably calling with about 60% of my hands here, including any pair, any ace, any king, Q8 or better, J8 or better and maybe some suited connectory (is that a word) kind of hands, hoping to be live.
ALL-IN zac777 UMM WHAT? The original raiser had been playing pretty tight and the caller was even tighter. I was desparately hoping party handed me some kind of miracle AA vs KK situation.

FOLD tlbcaptain

Flop:
[ ]

Turn:
[ ]

River:
[ ]
MegaB1te shows [ ] a pair of threes .
zac777 shows [ ] a pair of threes .
zac777 wins 2300 chips from side pot #1 with a pair of threes with ace kicker .
zac777 wins 13880 chips from the main pot with a pair of threes with ace kicker .
MegaB1te finished in fourth place.

OKAY! WTF is going on here? Megab1te pushes with KJ UTG to steal blinds that amount to about 9% of his stack. His push is completely retarded as there is an 8BB and a 2BB stack at the table. Both of us are calling with a huge range of hands because we have little choice. He could have raised to 1000 or maybe 1200 and evaluated from that point, but that would not have gotten me into the money, so thank you Megab1te.

Then onto the call. Zac777 risks most of his stack in a bubble situation when he is about 44% to win against a range of hands including AA-22, AQ and AK. Unless he has a pretty good read on Megab1tes pushing range there I think he can fold his AK pretty safely. If he loses the hand, he's got like 6BB's left. He already has a good sized stack and can steal blinds pretty aggressively. Some people may be able to come up with ICM numbers that show AK as an easy call but I personally think he could easily have folded.

So I ended up squeaking into the money, got all in vs the second shortstack on the next hand and my 33 held up against J5, then pushed again with K2s against his BB. He called with Q6, I turned a 2, and I secured second place. I actually managed to build my stack up to 8000 or so when AK=thenuts guy pushed my BB with A2 against my 77 and rivered an ace. Oh well, $300 I wasn't supposed to have anyway.

TheRempel VS Beset: HU FOR BANKROLLS

Last year around this time Beset and I did a 7 SNG challenge. 6 different games:
Limit Hold'Em - TheRempel won in a stunning upset. I have played probably 100 hands of LHE in my entire life.
No-Limit Hold'Em - I won again, what a surprise mr professional NL player.
Pot-Limit Omaha - We played this twice. I think we were planning on playing Razz, but it was before either of us played on Full Tilt and there was no Razz on Stars at that time. We each won once. Beset lucksacked his win as usual.
Limit Omaha-8 - I was clueless and he lucksacked I am sure, so he squeaked one out.
Stud - Beset managed another lucksacking (stud is the game other than HE and PLO that I am most familiar with). I remember at least one hand where he capped 5th with a pair of 6's against my (XX)KJT8 board and caught a running flush.
Stud H/L - The tiebreaker. Two words: BESET MOTHERFUCKING OWNED. Okay that's three or four words, but you get the point.

So tonight I'm bored and I wanna do some foolish slightly -EV gambooling. Beset agrees to one flip for $25 at a private table. For people who don't read 2+2, that means we both sit down with $25 and put all the money in preflop no matter what we have.

Here's how the initial hand went down:

Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.10/$0.25
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is BB with as 7h
Beset raises all-in $24.9, TheRempel calls all-in $24.75.

Flop: 3h tc 5c ($50, 0 player + 2 all-in - Main pot: $50)
Turn: 6c ($50, 0 player + 2 all-in - Main pot: $50)
River: kc ($50, 0 player + 2 all-in - Main pot: $50)

Results:
Final pot: $50
Beset shows 2c 9d (a fucking flush)
TheRempel doesn't show As 7h (ace goddamnmotherfucking high)

So that wasn't good enough. I have quit when behind once in my life and that's because I sobered up and realised she was my cousin.

Subsequent hands:


******* Hand 1 ********

Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.10/$0.25
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is SB with 8d 7d
TheRempel raises all-in $24.9, BB calls.

Flop: 4d tc qh ($50, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $50)


Turn: td ($50, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $50)


River: 4h ($50, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $50)


Results:
Final pot: $50
TheRempel shows 8d 7d
BB shows 8s Ks


******* Hand 2 ********

Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.10/$0.25
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is SB with kd 6c
TheRempel raises all-in $24.9, BB calls.

Flop: 5h 7h as ($50, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $50)


Turn: 3s ($50, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $50)


River: 5s ($50, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $50)


Results:
Final pot: $50
TheRempel shows Kd 6c
BB shows Kh Ah

Notice a disturbing trend yet?
******* Hand 3 ********

Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.10/$0.25
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is SB with jc qc
TheRempel raises all-in $24.9, BB calls.

Flop: 6d 4d 3s ($50, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $50)


Turn: th ($50, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $50)


River: kc ($50, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $50)


Results:
Final pot: $50
TheRempel shows Jc Qc
BB shows 2s 8s


******* Hand 4 ********

Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.10/$0.25
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is BB with 6d ah
SB raises all-in $71.9, TheRempel calls all-in $48.75.
Uncalled bets: $23 returned to SB.

Flop: 9s 7c 8d ($98, 0 player + 2 all-in - Main pot: $98)


Turn: 6h ($98, 0 player + 2 all-in - Main pot: $98)


River: 8c ($98, 0 player + 2 all-in - Main pot: $98)


Results:
Final pot: $98
SB shows Ts 5s
TheRempel doesn't show 6d Ah

We moved up for more gambool.

******* Hand 5 ********

Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.50/$1
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is SB with 3d 9c
TheRempel raises all-in $99.5, BB calls all-in $99.

Flop: 4h 4s 2h ($200, 0 player + 2 all-in - Main pot: $200)


Turn: ts ($200, 0 player + 2 all-in - Main pot: $200)


River: 8h ($200, 0 player + 2 all-in - Main pot: $200)


Results:
Final pot: $200
TheRempel shows 3d 9c
BB shows Qs Qd


******* Hand 6 ********

Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.50/$1
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is SB with ad 9c
TheRempel raises all-in $99.5, BB calls.

Flop: 5h ah kd ($200, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $200)


Turn: th ($200, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $200)


River: 3s ($200, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $200)


Results:
Final pot: $200
TheRempel shows Ad 9c
BB shows 5s 5d

HUGE FUCKING SURPRISE

******* Hand 7 ********

Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.50/$1
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is SB with js jc
TheRempel raises all-in $99.5, BB calls.

Flop: 3c 5c 2d ($200, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $200)


Turn: 8s ($200, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $200)


River: 9d ($200, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $200)


Results:
Final pot: $200
TheRempel shows Js Jc
BB shows Ts 5s


******* Hand 8 ********

Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.50/$1
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is BB with qc ah
SB raises all-in $197.5, TheRempel calls.

Flop: ts 3c 5h ($396, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $396)


Turn: 2h ($396, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $396)


River: 3h ($396, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $396)


Results:
Final pot: $396
SB shows Jd As
TheRempel shows Qc Ah

So at this point we moved back down to $50. I don't know why. I have an odd problem with party and private tables were it will not allow me to reload if I bust unless I leave the table and come back.



Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.25/$0.50
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is SB with 7s 6d
TheRempel raises all-in $49.75, BB calls all-in $49.5.

Flop: 4h ts 9c ($100, 0 player + 2 all-in - Main pot: $100)


Turn: 9s ($100, 0 player + 2 all-in - Main pot: $100)


River: ks ($100, 0 player + 2 all-in - Main pot: $100)


Results:
Final pot: $100
TheRempel shows 7s 6d
BB shows 8c 6h


******* Hand 2 ********

Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.25/$0.50
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is SB with 6d 3s
TheRempel raises all-in $49.75, BB calls.

Flop: 5h 4d ac ($100, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $100)


Turn: qs ($100, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $100)


River: td ($100, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $100)


Results:
Final pot: $100
TheRempel shows 6d 3s
BB shows Qd 9s

ARGH. Stuck like $250 on some bullshit coinflips. WE NEEDED TO PLAY REAL POKER AND THIS IS WHERE I SHOWED WHAT I AM MADE OF.


******* Hand 1 ********

Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.25/$0.50
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is BB with 2c 8c
SB raises to $2, TheRempel raises to $6, SB calls.

Flop: 8h 7c 6c ($12, 2 players)
SB checks, TheRempel raises all-in $39, SB calls.

Turn: jd ($90, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $90)


River: 2h ($90, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $90)


Results:
Final pot: $90
SB shows Tc Kc
TheRempel shows 2c 8c

Besthand won. Nuff said.

******* Hand 2 ********

Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.25/$0.50
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is BB with 5s as
SB raises to $2, TheRempel calls.

Flop: tc ah 7s ($4, 2 players)
SB bets $2, TheRempel raises to $7, SB raises all-in $66.3, TheRempel calls.

Turn: 4d ($140.6, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $140.6)


River: 5d ($140.6, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $140.6)


Results:
Final pot: $140.6
TheRempel shows 5s As
SB shows 6s 8c (faggy backdoor straight wtf)

Mr.Lucksack wins again.


******* Hand 3 ********

Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.25/$0.50
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is BB with 2h ah
SB raises to $2, TheRempel raises to $6, SB calls.

Flop: jc 4c 8h ($12, 2 players)
SB checks, TheRempel bets $8, SB calls.

Turn: 4d ($28, 2 players)
SB checks, TheRempel checks.

River: as ($28, 2 players)
SB checks, TheRempel raises all-in $42.95, SB calls.

Results:
Final pot: $113.9
SB shows 9s 9c
TheRempel shows 2h Ah

FREE CARDS IS A BITCH TYLER.

******* Hand 4 ********

Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.25/$0.50
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is BB with tc 5d
SB raises to $2, TheRempel calls.

Flop: 5h 5s 4d ($4, 2 players)
SB bets $2, TheRempel calls.

Turn: qd ($8, 2 players)
SB bets $5, TheRempel raises to $22, SB calls.

River: 3h ($52, 2 players)
SB checks, TheRempel raises all-in $48.15, SB calls.

Results:
Final pot: $148.3
SB shows 7s 6c
TheRempel shows Tc 5d

Bah FU.

******* Hand 5 ********

Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.25/$0.50
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is BB with ah 5h
SB raises to $2, TheRempel raises to $6, SB raises to $24, TheRempel raises all-in $68.6, SB calls.

Flop: qc tc 9s ($149.2, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $149.2)


Turn: 3h ($149.2, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $149.2)


River: kc ($149.2, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $149.2)


Results:
Final pot: $149.2
SB shows Js Qs
TheRempel shows Ah 5h

60/40, 80/20, 95/5, odds don't matter, if it's all in preflop Beset is the goddamn motherfucking king of suckouts.

So again we moved up so I could chase my losses:


******* Hand 1 ********

Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.50/$1
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is SB with qs ts
TheRempel raises to $3, BB raises to $9, TheRempel calls.

Flop: kd jh 3c ($18, 2 players)
TheRempel checks, BB bets $10, TheRempel calls.

Turn: ad ($38, 2 players)
TheRempel checks, BB bets $20, TheRempel raises to $50, BB calls all-in $48.5, TheRempel calls.

River: jc ($175, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $175)


Results:
Final pot: $175
TheRempel shows Qs Ts
BB shows Ah Ac

Quelle surprise sir, quelle surprise. 20/80 is the new 99/1. Fucker.

******* Hand 2 ********

Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.50/$1
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is BB with ad 9s
SB raises to $4, TheRempel raises to $12, SB calls.

Flop: 9d 2c qd ($24, 2 players)
SB checks, TheRempel checks.

Turn: 2d ($24, 2 players)
SB bets $15, TheRempel calls.

River: 5d ($54, 2 players)
SB bets $30, TheRempel raises all-in $78.3, SB folds.
Uncalled bets: $78.3 returned to TheRempel.

Results:
Final pot: $84
TheRempel shows Ad 9s (a flush ace high)

FLUSH IN YOUR ASS BITCH.


******* Hand 3 ********

Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.50/$1
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is SB with 7h 9d
TheRempel raises to $3, BB calls.

Flop: th 8h 4c ($6, 2 players)
TheRempel bets $5, BB raises to $20, TheRempel calls.

Turn: js ($46, 2 players)
TheRempel checks, BB bets $35, TheRempel raises all-in $125.7, BB folds.
Uncalled bets: $125.7 returned to TheRempel.

Results:
Final pot: $81
TheRempel shows 7h 9d (a straight jack high)

KEEP FIRING THAT SECOND BARREL WHORE


******* Hand 4 ********

Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.50/$1
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is SB with jc jh
TheRempel raises to $4, BB raises to $12, TheRempel calls.

Flop: 8h 9c 7d ($24, 2 players)
TheRempel checks, BB bets $20, TheRempel raises all-in $198.2, BB calls all-in $93.7.
Uncalled bets: $84.5 returned to TheRempel.

Turn: td ($251.4, 0 player + 2 all-in - Main pot: $251.4)


River: ah ($251.4, 0 player + 2 all-in - Main pot: $251.4)


Results:
Final pot: $251.4
BB shows 7h 8d (two pairs, sevens and eights)
TheRempel shows Jc Jh (a straigggggggght, jack high mothafucka)
Oops. Sup now bitch.

******* Hand 5 ********

Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.50/$1
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is BB with td 8d
SB raises to $4, TheRempel raises to $12, SB calls.

Flop: 5s 8h kc ($24, 2 players)
SB checks, TheRempel bets $20, SB raises all-in $80, TheRempel calls.

Turn: jd ($184, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $184)


River: 9s ($184, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $184)


Results:
Final pot: $184
TheRempel shows Td 8d
SB shows 9c 7c

Once again tight flop call is followed by river bullshit. YOU GO GIRL, YOU GO.

******* Hand 6 ********

Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.50/$1
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is BB with kd 9s
SB raises to $4, TheRempel calls.

Flop: kh 4d 6d ($8, 2 players)
SB bets $6, TheRempel calls.

Turn: jd ($20, 2 players)
SB checks, TheRempel checks.

River: 2h ($20, 2 players)
SB checks, TheRempel bets $15, SB calls.

Results:
Final pot: $50
TheRempel shows Kd 9s
SB doesn't show 8s Ah

VALUE PWNAGE. ACE HIGH NO GOOD SIR.

******* Hand 7 ********

Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.50/$1
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is BB with th kc
SB raises to $4, TheRempel calls.

Flop: jh jd 5c ($8, 2 players)
SB bets $6, TheRempel calls.

Turn: 3s ($20, 2 players)
SB bets $15, TheRempel calls.

River: 9c ($50, 2 players)
SB checks, TheRempel checks.

Results:
Final pot: $50
SB shows Ts 4c
TheRempel shows Th Kc

BUT KING FUCKING HIGH DAMN WELL IS.


******* Hand 8 ********

Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.50/$1
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is SB with 9h ad
TheRempel raises to $4, BB raises to $12, TheRempel calls.

Flop: ac 8d tc ($24, 2 players)
TheRempel checks, BB checks.

Turn: th ($24, 2 players)
TheRempel bets $15, BB calls.

River: 8h ($54, 2 players)
TheRempel checks, BB bets $40, TheRempel calls.

Results:
Final pot: $134
BB shows 6h 7h
TheRempel shows 9h Ad

HOLLA AT THAT RIVER CHECK.

******* Hand 9 ********

Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.50/$1
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is BB with 2s 2d
SB raises to $4, TheRempel calls.

Flop: ks jd 2c ($8, 2 players)
SB bets $6, TheRempel calls.

Turn: 2h ($20, 2 players)
SB bets $10, TheRempel raises to $40, SB calls.


River: ah ($100, 2 players)
SB checks, TheRempel bets $56
[23:19] beset: 2 ?
[23:19]TheRempel: no I do not have a 2
SB calls all-in $56.
[23:19] TheRempel: I HAVE FOUR
[23:19] TheRempel: MOTHEFUCKER

Results:
Final pot: $212
TheRempel shows 2s 2d
SB doesn't show Js 8s

So this finally put me up like $31 on Beset after his miracle flip suckouts and donkass bluff river smashes. He cried until I agreed to one more flip for $31.
******* Hand 10 ********


Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.50/$1
2 players

Pre-flop: (2 players) TheRempel is BB with kc 7h
SB raises all-in $30.5, TheRempel calls.

Flop: tc 3h qh ($62, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $62)


Turn: 5d ($62, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $62)


River: ad ($62, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $62)


Results:
Final pot: $62
SB shows 4d 2s
TheRempel shows Kc 7h

Yeah huge surprise.